Aloha!!! My dear readers,

The buzzing of the word 'hectic' in my head is slowly clearing, thanks to the long weekend in conjunction to the 25th anniversary of Brunei's National Independence Day.

September 2008
Since my big bro's wedding in Sept'08, I had countless activities after then, one of which includes a trip to Temburong where I, my parents, cousin and her parents ended up loving to float in the river. We hiked a few hills, we managed to escape a storm over the mountain, we rolled our oars in a sluggish style, we stood on the tallest point and most importantly, we survived though with a few bumps and bruises. Before each day's challenge, we were fed to the fullest with the most scrumptious meals. Satisfaction guaranteed!


15.09.2008 (Monday) - Mooncake Festival (Orchid Garden Hotel)


27.09.2008 (Saturday)

October 2008
Among the hectic-ness, I sat for my CPA exam paper which I managed to cramp every single module into my head for only 2 weeks of preparation before the exam. I know it's not the right method, last minute is never a good choice. With the insurmountable stress that piled up from work, my eyes couldn't afford to take a peek at the CPA booklet at the end of each day. On the weekends, I have decided to spend time resourcefully, i.e. rejuvenate energy flow with a good rest and good quality time with my family. With this, I am proud to say I have fairly balanced my work and family time in the second half of 2008.

November 2008
After the exam, my company rewards all the staff with a free vacation trip to Vietnam. I enjoyed it a lot!!! One of the best! And thinking of going back to the same hotels (Yes we stayed in 2 hotels, both with distinctive styles!) in the future~~~


07.11.2008 (Friday) - Lavender Hotel

At the end of the month, I sat for the IELTS exam. Hopeful for a 7.5, indeed it came true...*feeling satisfied & thankful* (Shek Yeng, thanks for the guides that you provided me, I actually didn't view them all because it was too much but it was helpful :P)

December 2008
Always a month where all staff are prepared to enter warzone...

On Christmas, I and a few good friends gathered at my house and did a barbeque. I can only say this, we had a pretty warm and cosy christmas in 2008!


25.12.2008 (Christmas Day)

January 2009
Supposedly a month I should love, but I was feeling so tense and stressed I feel my body's taking a toll on me...My health condition is deteriorating. First symptom - frequent constipation with abnormal stools...then IBS - Irritable Bowel Syndrome (slow digestion and severe bloating after every meal)...then bad breath from the pit of the stomach every wake of the morning...RED ALERT!!!

The ox year is my year, all forms of luck can be bad if not taken care of...however so, horoscope says there are many good days in the calendar, so I consider this year as another auspicious year for the oxens...As usual, chinese new year goes on. BUT I don't feel the mood at all. I'd rather spend a quiet time with my family. I did not apply any leave for the CNY visitings, luckily there wasn't a need to. Work pretty much is hectic but I'm used to it, so no complaints on that. 

February 2009
Work is slowly clearing in its own way, quite happy on that...BUT RED LIGHT from January finally took its toll on my body.

I suddenly fell sick. I thought I was strong, I tried to stand under the sun for an hour picking up garbage at the beach. What was worse - out of the bending and picking up of garbage, I pulled my back muscle and couldn't bend anymore, let alone sit or stand straight. I need major help! At night, I had fever.

The next day at work, I worked like a cow. BUT deep down I knew I couldn't work anymore, so I applied sickleave. After lunch on my way to the clinic, both of arms and legs went numb, I was driving and of course I panicked. My pulse became crazy, I felt breathless. At any second I could pass out, I was at the roundabout junction, I could only hold on till I swerved to the nearest road and stopped at an empty space. Once I stopped, I immediately jumped out of my car, with its engine still running. Such a scary experience!

Once my breathing became normal, I drove to the clinic slowly, barely making it. At the clinic a second panic attack, again my arms and legs went numb. I laid down and closed my eyes...This happened after I visited the doctor and was waiting for my uncle to come pick me. Unfortunately my uncle was late for nearly an hour because he heard the wrong address. He went to Kiulap instead of Gadong, I was almost half-dead...

Eventually I survived by taking another day off...Still, I could barely make it through the whole week...I was still on medication but the antibiotics were so strong I almost slipped into unconsciousness...feeling dazed after every medication...

Apart from treating my fever and flu and cough, my uncle drove me to Dr. Jag for my severe backache. I found out my backbone was a bit protruding and bent sideways...the lady chiropractor (Rata) twsited and turned my body a few times and WA LA, my backbone is back to its original position.... Initally she thought it was a slip disc, luckily it was not...Whew~~~ Still, I had to return for a second twist and turn treatment the next day...

The next day, I was already back to work, but I still managed to go for the twist and turn treatment...really thankful for Rata...she's my saviour...I was told not to sit too long in front of the computer, I gotta do a light exercise for the whole body every 15mins...I was also told not to hunch too much, this can cause chronic pain for my back as I grow old...I was reminded to take enough water on a daily basis as I'm H2O deficient...I always knew I had these problems, I never expected it shines its RED LIGHT this early...according to Rata, it's very common among office staff nowadays, no matter what age you are...

This just happened last week, Loosy's believe it or not~~~

Now I regulate an exercise routine for myself every morning, hopefully I can do it every morning, wish me luck!

Alright, good night, everyone...Oyasumi Nasai! :P


    
 

I always wonder what real love is, it can come in many forms to different people.
I wonder why 'him'...

I have a confession - 'I have a crush on this particular guy'. I don't feel anything while saying these words, but when I think of him, I do flush & my heart races with every thought of him that flashes through my mind.

I dream of him whenever I am driving, eating, working, showering, sleeping and even upon waking up in the morning. I can't stop thinking about him.

I wonder why 'him', I don't even know him that well yet. 

When he's out of my sight, I miss him. When he's around me, I feel so uncomfortable, perhaps pressured. I have this desire of making a good impression in front of him. When I think of this, I feel so unnatural and it's just not me being me. Making things worse, with nervousness and the development of inferiority complex taking control over me, I don't say the right things.

I feel inferior, low self-confidence and in fact confused. Yet at the same time, the sweetness of love is tasted throughout the whole area of my tongue, covering the other tastes out. Because of his gentlemanly-hood, intelligence, humour, kindness, responsible & well-composed character, and not to mention, his absolute stunning attractive eyes, he blows me into wonderland. His stare always catches my heart, I will always dreamily look at him while he talks. Somehow hearing his voice gives me a sense of comfort and security, that makes me smile....

I love the time when we had our first dinner together and it felt very comfortable for me, we even had ice-cream. Second dinner was great too. When I was in need one time, he came to help. Within all these good things that happened, perhaps I got touched. Thereafter I start to like him...It's where I develop inferiority complex, I feel I'm not compatible with him or that I am not that good enough for him.
 
I am running away again. I choose not to meet him again. I hear rumours that he has a girlfriend and yet I never have the chance to confirm that myself. I even have moments of denial where I cannot accept the fact he might have a girlfriend. That is not the main problem. I am plainly not comfortable with myself and these worrying thoughts, it's just too much pressure.

I know someday time will tell, I will grow out of it. If fate allowed, everything will fall into place, despite the current inferiority complex problem. Wish me good luck~~~ Na mas te :P